“Who are all these people on the ballot? I thought there were only five people running for mayor.”

“They’re just a bunch of random people who don’t have any chance of winning.”

— An ill-informed voter gets an equally ill-informed answer from a worker at Sunday’s advance poll.

“Bike lanes interfere with cars.”

“Isn’t it the other way around?”

— Two pedestrians crossing Queen at Yonge this morning, with nary a bike lane in sight.

Stop! You know there are people down there, eh?

One of the members of the crew replacing a 5th-storey office window, to another member of the crew who was chipping the old broken pane out with Vise-Grips and raining little glass shards onto the sidewalk below.

Guy 1 (reading shopping list): “Two-by-four-by-eight? What the hell is that?”

Guy 2 (checks shopping list): “Uh…it’s a two-by-four that’s eight feet long.”

Guy 1: “Oh.”

With spring renovation season getting underway, just remember that these are the experts who will be building your deck or fixing your kitchen. Be sure to check those references.