It’s funny, the things you keep around in your photo albums. See the last picture in the gallery below for the story about the photo above.
A couple of years ago, I spent the better part of four months examining every truck, tractor, piece of heavy equipment, and work site I passed, looking for warning labels. The end result was the Travails of Mr. Stickman. It was fun, but boy howdy, was I ever ready to stop looking for warning signs after I was done. Soon after I finished that project, I embarked on another: taking pictures of vanity licence plates. Two years and a few fits and starts later, here’s the result.
Compulsively looking at, taking pictures of, and remembering licence plates has an interesting side effect: it can somewhat de-anonymize people in cars. Other than the familiar ones I see on my street or parked along my regular commuting route, I don’t really think that I encounter any individual car more than once in my life. For the most part, people in cars are anonymous to everyone else, and you don’t really attach any significance to one Honda Civic versus another. Is it the same car and driver that I passed last week? Different? Does it matter?
Several times, I’ve seen the same plate twice in two completely different places. In North Toronto and on the Danforth; Deer Park and the Home Depot on Laird. Somewhat more startling, I’ve occasionally seen the same plate on two different cars, with the sightings separated by weeks or years. I may not know anything about the owner of the car, but I do know that the complete stranger whose licence plate made me laugh on Merton Street in the spring traded in her Land Rover for a convertible that she was driving up Pape Avenue last week. Last week, I completed my first triple sighting of a single plate: first on Summerhill Avenue, then on the 401, and finally in Liberty Village. I wasn’t able to get a picture of the car in any of those encounters. Fourth time lucky, maybe.
And then there was the driver who blasted his horn at me as he passed me way too aggressively on a wide-open street two weeks ago. As he cut inches in front of me on a quiet residential street (and signed bike route, no less), he almost certainly didn’t realize that I not only recognized his peronalized plate, but that I knew exactly which driveway it was parked in three minutes earlier, where I see it virtually every morning. The wronged cyclist’s dilemma: let him know, or let it go. I’m still undecided.
Through all of this, there was only one complaint about a guy on a bike (usually) with a camera stopping to take a picture. The vast majority of drivers that I spoke with were not only amused to be part of my project, but also told me the story behind their personalized plate. The owner of IM URS, for example, told me that he’d inherited it from his mother and it was one of the things he remembered her by. Most of the time though, the cars were empty and no one was around to tell me the personal significance of a plate.
Of course there were almost too many to count that got away, passing too fast for a picture, in weather I refused to subject my camera to, or just at the wrong time of day while I was too busy scurrying along my way. Many them were better than the ones that I did catch. Oh well. For the next post.
Check out the full gallery below the fold. Those of you reading through the RSS feed should visit the original page for the full gallery effect with commentary.
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- Some people just can't make up their minds.
Some people just can't make up their minds.
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- I'd rather be flying.
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- Seeing this pai(n)ting company's van has had the ongoing side effect of making me say "pait" whenever I mean "paint." It's been really annoying.
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- Part of this car was in my blog before. While I admire the bravery of anyone willing to declare their union colours on a licence plate, I still think that the bumper sticker is silly.
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- Why is a UFO guy is driving a PT Cruiser? Shouldn't he have a spaceship?
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- Some plates don't just tell you something about the owner, but they give instructions to everyone around them...
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- ...while some have the same message with fewer letters. I had my eye out for the simplest expression of this sentiment, "B U," but never found it.
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- I imagine that a TP Cruiser has a lot of kids in it and is a bit messy. But if you keep the TP and its associated action in the car, you'll end up with...
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- ...clean sheets in the house, which is never a bad thing. (Yes, I know that a clean sheet is some football term.)
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- The thing about being super hip, is that if you really are super hip, you don't actually have to tell anyone that you're super hip; they already know.
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- Lots of people use their vanity plates to advertise their professions, current or future.
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- Another professional of the medical variety, I hope.
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- I don't think I'd enjoy a visit to this doctor.
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- A lawyer perhaps? This one is agin ya...
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- ...while this is the one for ya.
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- I can't say anything snarky about this one. My tiny, cold heart let out a little "Awww," when I saw this.
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- The bumper stickers seem to say that, indeed, they've gone quite a bit.
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- Software, hardware, wetware, why not?
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- Marathon runner, or four-wheeled maniac? Could go either way.
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- They were definitely the best band of the British Invasion...
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- ...or were they?
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- Hockey mom, soccer mom, football widow...sure. It's hard to imagine a polo mom though, buying all those oats, cleaning out the stall, schlepping the horse from one tournament to another every weekend...
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- A rule to live by.
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- It's never too late to turn one over.
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- The car is the only place where the parents can say "no" to the kids.
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- Then when?
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- MYHAPYNS is...a warm puppy?
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- I bet there's a MR WRONG out there somewhere. Speaking of which...
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- Hmm, it looks like YOR M8's secret identity is out in the open, and it ain't pretty.
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- Mostly rusting away.
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- Hope springs eternal...
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- ...but not everyone is so optimistic.
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- Keep dreaming...
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- Rooting for a different team.
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- I'm guessing a real estate agent.
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- The newest recruit to Anglers Anonymous.
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- This was one of the few licence plates referencing bugs that wasn't on a VW Beetle.
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- The woman in this car explained to me that the plate was "'late for tee,' as in golf, not 'late-forties'." The latter never would have occurred to me, but I guess enough other people had gotten it wrong.
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- Go ahead. Make my day.
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- Everyone knows that there is no JTF1 and that JTF2 is a secret, but did you know that JTF3 drives a Ford and shops at the Summerhill Market?
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- This amphibious car was the best thing I saw at the Toronto Boat Show.
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- Here's one for the geeks.
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- Frisky. Have you met...
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- ...each other yet? You could have some fun together, before you decide that...
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- ...and eventually, one of you will say...
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- ...leading the other to push back a bit. Hey, it's not all roses....
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- ...I'm a troublemaker...
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- ...who's got a history...
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- ...of, uh, trouble-making. I only do it...
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- ...so you see, we're really not all that good together. But I'm not bitter.
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- You can see M31 too, if you know where to look.
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- A big ol' white Caddy convertible screams honeymoon, even without the plate.
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- Take this job and haul it.
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- I'm not impressed.
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- Jubilation! About what? Who knows.
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- Some people seem very impressed with themselves.
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- This is either a member of the Internet generation or a genealogist.
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- ...There's no such doubt about this one, though.
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- Whatever it is, that's probably four too many.
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- There you are, just minding your own business, and boom!
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- Anyone who has spent any amount of time in the Boy Scouts knows the drill. During the opening ceremonies of every meeting, Akela sternly instructs the boys to "DYB, DYB, DYB [DYB is pronounced dib and is short for Do Your Best]," to which the assembled kids respond, "We will DOB, DOB, DOB [Do Our Best]." I thought it interesting that given the choice, the owner of this car chose the instructional DYB instead of the aspirational DOB.
I'll also say that I retain precisely three life skills from my scouting days: how to roll a neckerchief into a rather fetching tie, how to sell apples in front of a subway station, and how to hop around on one foot and knock over my opponent with my shoulder while we're surrounded by a couple of dozen bloodthirsty spectators. This last skill is called a rooster fight, and you can imagine how peculiar it is to look back at across 30 years. Other fun scouting games include Pull Stick, Cock Fight, Skin the Snake, and Slapping Cheek, all of which can be either more or less homoerotic than their names, depending on your expectations going in. Good wholesome fun, right?
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- But don't DRIVES.
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- He tried camping once. Once.
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- Not to be confused with Bocce Balls
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- Could be baiting me, but I think they're just getting ready for...
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- ...the weekend.
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- This one was the subject of a post all its own a while ago, and still ranks as one of my faves.
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- And finally, the one that started it all. I encountered this plate on a 1992 day trip to Niagara Falls (the Olympic rings on my shirt were for the Barcelona games; the slogan on the back was "No pain, no gain, no Spain."). I'm no longer quite that hairy and I now try to keep hot pink and yellow apart in my wardrobe, but I was pretty stylin' back then.
And with that out of the way, it’s on to my next long-term documentary project. Any ideas?
Amazing.
The best Ontario license plate I’ve ever seen is HEY BRO.
Some of my favs:
On a Bentley – HARDWORK
On a Rolls – 8DAYWEEK
On a BMW – TNT LLB
On a cab – FLAG ME
I once saw an old man driving a red convertible and his said ‘GTTOPLSS’. Perv.
A few more good ones I’ve seen over the years:
NO2 TTC (not a transit fan)
YYZ GUY (probably a pilot)
GR8 CHEF (chef)
UR SRVD (lawyer, or a waiter)
2FST4U (a habitual speeder?)
I spotted an excellent one on a few months ago on a Honda Fit. The plate was’HISSY’
The Maple Leafs ARGGGH plate wins. It’s just…perfect.
one of my favourites of all time is a big old brown pick up truck with the license plate PORK.
Friend at work’s husband is a Leafs season ticket subscriber. He wants them to win the cup, but he’s not greedy, all he wants is: 1B4IDIE
Another friend has a black Monte Carlo SS with: TOMSBOMB and her daughter has a silver one with: MALLRAT