We live in the riding of Toronto–Danforth, where a by-election to replace Jack Layton is underway. Craig Scott’s NDP had already knocked on our door last week and today we got our first campaign material from Liberal candidate Grant Gordon, he of the famous nomination campaign.
The Liberals’ slogan, “We want you back,” recalls late-night phone calls from a desperate ex-girlfriend who just can’t accept that you’ve moved on. (Please feel completely free to substitute “ex-boyfriend” in this scenario; I can only speak from my personal experience.) Oh sure, you’ll sit on the phone and listen to her pitch about how good you were together, how she’s lost without you, and how you owe her another chance because of all of the things she’s done for you. But all the time she’s talking you’re just sitting there thinking, “See, this is why I broke up with you in the first place.” Is this really the image that the Liberals want to associate themselves with?
I can’t wait for their followup slogans, “We can’t go on without you,” “We’re too good for you anyway,” and “We hope you burn in hell, you motherfu—” Well, you get the picture. Anyway Liberals, it was nice chatting with you again, and I’m sure you’ll be just fine. But I have to go wash my hair now…