Who’s in whose way anyway?

“Bike lanes interfere with cars.”

“Isn’t it the other way around?”

— Two pedestrians crossing Queen at Yonge this morning, with nary a bike lane in sight.

Things you don’t want to hear

Stop! You know there are people down there, eh?

One of the members of the crew replacing a 5th-storey office window, to another member of the crew who was chipping the old broken pane out with Vise-Grips and raining little glass shards onto the sidewalk below.

What’s a tuba for?

Two contractor/handyman-types heading into Home Depot yesterday:

Guy 1 (reading shopping list): “Two-by-four-by-eight? What the hell is that?”

Guy 2 (checks shopping list): “Uh…it’s a two-by-four that’s eight feet long.”

Guy 1: “Oh.”

With spring renovation season getting underway, just remember that these are the experts who will be building your deck or fixing your kitchen. Be sure to check those references.

Why Loblaws is losing money

“Nope.”

– The acting store manager in the Loblaws at Broadview and Danforth on Sunday, when I asked if he could do anything about the lineup that snaked from the one open non-express checkout all the way across the front of the store and up the dairy aisle.

“I keep forgetting not to come here anymore.”

– A frustrated woman making her way to the end of the line.

You and me both, sister. The newly-renovated Sobeys up the street beckons.