No future in petroleum, 1857 edition

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I’m a little behind on my reading, but I couldn’t resist sharing this nugget of prognostication from the May 1857 issue of Scientific American:

We believe that no particular use is made of the fluid petroleum, from the ‘tar springs’ of California, except as a lotion for bruises and rheumatic affections. It has a pungent odor, and although it can be made to burn with a pretty good light, its smell is offensive. This, perhaps, may be obviated by distilling it with some acid; we believe that this is not impossible in this age of advanced chemistry. If the offensive odor could be removed, a valuable and profitable business might be carried on in manufacturing burning fluid from it.

This quote was published earlier this year in Scientific American‘s monthly “50, 100 & 150 Years Ago” feature, where they reprint snippets of interesting stories from back issues of “the oldest continuously published magazine in the U.S.” Pungent, offensive, and the basis of the modern world. Seems about right.

Toronto's Best MPP

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Toronto’s finest?

Some of Peter Tabuns’s election signs have a curious sticker on them declaring him to be “Toronto’s Best MPP.” I thought at first that someone in his campaign was merely being boastful until Risa pointed out the tiny type that attributes the quote to NOW Magazine last October, barely six months into his first term:

The former Greenpeace director is one of the only voices in the legislature pressing for a provincial climate change plan. He’s also waged war against the Portlands Energy Centre and nukes, while fighting for screen time for Canadian flicks, early childhood learning centres in his ‘hood, same-sex parental rights and the Chinese head tax redress. Can’t wait to see what he does in the next nine months.

Who knew? I’m glad that thanks to the hard work of Toronto’s Best MPP, we don’t have to look at that big ugly Portlands Energy Centre and won’t be getting any more nuclear plants. The air smells cleaner already.

Victory in the bike lane

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A sight for sore eyes: a bin-free bike lane

It took five weeks and a whole lot more effort and patience than I thought it would, but the recycling bins at 55 Cosburn Ave. were finally in their rightful place—and out of everyone else’s rightful place—this morning. It’s a small victory, but I’ll take it. Maybe next week I’ll start taking on the cars that are always parked and idling along this stretch.

With a garbage-free Cosburn greeting me this morning and the Works Committee making some noise about a major report to be delivered at next Wednesday’s meeting, it’s looking like it could be a great autumn for cyclists.

It's for cycling, not recycling

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55 Cosburn Ave. uses the bike lane for garbage

It’s now week four of my quest for justice in the Cosburn bike lane. In previous weeks, I’d been bounced around in email and on the phone to various departments and units in my effort to deal with the recycling bins in the bike lane in front of 55 Cosburn Ave.

This week, I escalated my issue to the Waste Enforcement Investigations supervisor for the area, having received no responses to two emails and one voice mail the previous week. I spoke to her on Wednesday morning as I stood on the front lawn of 55 Cosburn Ave. Surprisingly, she said that an enforcement officer had spoken to the superintendent about the issue on Monday, two days earlier. She vowed to get another officer out there this week and said that the issue should be resolved for next week. So either the bins will be out of the bike lane next Wednesday or I’ll be making some more early-morning phone calls. The most annoying thing about this entire situation is that I have to wait a week each time to see if anything has happened.

A couple of weeks ago, Shawn Micallef suggested that I call in the Fixer. I’ve thought about it, but I object to the idea that the only way to take care of this is to shine a big media spotlight on it. That said, I may yet do so if the situation drags on much longer. A part of me suspects that the city and the police would have been all over it after the first complaint if the bins were anywhere on the roadway but in the bike lane, and that bugs me even more. It shouldn’t take four weeks to address an issue like this, but I’m semi-confident that I’ll see some results next week.

I hope this meets your expectations for this week, poika.

Things not to do in the back of a dump truck

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Why not?

From the “Who knew it was such a rampant problem?” department comes the warning painted inside this dump truck, which probably makes more sense when the dumper is horizontal and the truck is in a quiet parking lot at the end of a long day of work.

I’m guessing that whoever got tired of cleaning the urine-soaked asphalt out of the corner of the truck didn’t realize that his painted message would be visible to the entire world when the truck body was tilted up. Chalk up another curiosity surrounding truckers and urine.

A version of this article originally appeared on Torontoist.

Free rip-off!

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Incredible product innovation

The helpful people at CashMoney are offering an innovative new product: pre-paid debit cards. Yes, for just $1.99 to activate the card, $1.99 to reload it, $0.50 per debit transaction, $1.99 per ATM transaction, and $2.50 per month, you can have the convenience of a debit card just like all your friends and “start spending life your way.”

But wait just a minute; “pre-paid debit card?” Isn’t this wonderful and innovative product just like a bank account? When you open a bank account, aren’t you also activating your new debit card? When you withdraw money at an ATM, aren’t you depleting the pre-paid balance on your debit card? When you make a deposit to your new account, aren’t you essentially reloading your debit card?

An average month of 2 deposits, 4 ATM withdrawals, and 4 debits would cost $16.44 with a CashMoney debit card, versus $4 at Royal Bank, $3.90 at CIBC, or $0 at PC Financial. Even if you find yourself in the vicious cycle of payday loans, you’re far better off taking the money and walking across the street to the bank to use their services rather than loading up your CashMoney debit card. Surely it’s not so hard to get a bank account these days that a CashMoney “pre-paid debit card” is filling a legitimate need.

I assume that the “free” offer mentioned on the sign above waives the activation fee, but preserves all of the other fees. MoneyMart also offers a debit card which is just as big a money pit as CashMoney’s.

It’s amazing (not in a good way) that these things are still available in Ontario.

You've got to be Kidding

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I know it’s called the Family Coalition Party, but they seem to be taking the name a little too literally. According to the candidate list at Elections Ontario, the Carvalho family will be holding down the FCP fort almost single-handedly with an impressive slate of six candidates:

  • Ajax-Pickering: Andrew Carvalho
  • Scarborough-Rouge River: Joseph Carvalho
  • Toronto Centre: Nicholas Carvalho
  • York Centre: Marilyn Carvalho
  • York-Simcoe: Victor Carvalho
  • York West: Julia Carvalho

Not to be outdone, the Kidd family is running a staggering eight candidates for the same party:

  • Beaches East York: Joel Kidd
  • Don Valley East: Ryan Kidd
  • Don Valley West: Daniel Kidd
  • Parkdale-High Park: Marilee Kidd
  • Richmond Hill: Lisa Kidd
  • Thornhill: Nathan Kidd
  • Timmins-James Bay: Steve Kidd
  • Toronto-Danforth: Michael Kidd

Of the 63 registered FCP candidates  as of September 11,  an unbelievable 22% belong to these two families. A candidate pool that shallow seems kind of creepy to me. It’s a good thing these families aren’t any bigger.

Highway Traffic Act Roulette #2

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Section 77 of the Ontario Highway Traffic Act declares:

Every person travelling on a highway with a sleigh or sled drawn by a horse or other animal shall have at least two bells attached to the harness or to the sleigh or sled in such a manner as to give ample warning sound.

They must provide ample warning because, of course, horse-drawn sleighs are the real menace on our roads.

Still trashing the bike lane

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55 Cosburn Ave.

Sure enough, last week’s request to the superindendent and call to by-law enforcement had no effect: the bike lane in front of 55 Cosburn Ave. was once again turned over to the big plastic bins for garbage day. I called by-law enforcement again this morning and once again got voice mail. I asked for callbacks both times but have yet to get any response. It may be time to ratchet up the pressure.